IS THIS YOUR TYPE?
What type is your husband?
Each one is unique in his own way. But there are a few broad types. Here are a few illustrations. Some husband’s score points over others by being one who listens to every whim and fancy of their wives. Here the formula for happiness and family peace is “Better keep her happy.” Lots of benefits primary amongst it is peace at home. These hubbies keep praising their dear wives at the slightest opportunity or try to gain some footage in front of others by saying “You know her”. Claim to give unconditional support. The result, heart burns in other families. The oft-repeated dialogue, “You cannot be like him. See how lucky she is married to her. I am not so fortunate.”
Now, this category of husbands leaves no space for themselves. Whenever they want to do something which would bring disapproval from their wife, they either do it secretly or cannot do it for fear. The son who grows up seeing this has, of course, some advantage. He knows how to manipulate and get your personal things done seeing papa’s maneuvering skills. It is the daughter who is caught at the back foot if she has idealized this relationship with her parents and expects its reflection on her husband. They always are not that lucky to get a clone of their father’s style.
Of course, there is another batch of husbands who try to laugh at themselves and other male members as to how obedient and afraid they are of their respective spouses. They enjoy passing male chauvinist jokes quoting their own and other’s wives and having a hearty laugh together. Of course, they may not necessarily be so obedient to their wives’ wishes at home. This leads to oft-repeated outbursts by their wives as to how unlucky they are. They also avoid as far as possible being too close to their in-laws family. The reason, he may be considered a stooge of his wife and in-laws.
Rest of the couples fall in various moderation categories based on how much space they give each and the ratio of parental and analytical behavior they show.
If we go deeper to analyze such behavior, we realize that most of them are an outcome of their childhood learning or taught concept which they have seen their parents and another parent like people doing and have either positively or negatively inherited these as their own behavior. If their father too has shown “I am the boss so better listen to me” attitude and the wife has shown her resentment which children are a constant witness, they may sympathize with their mother or may consider their father justified and accordingly try to mold their own married life by either becoming a “Better keep her happy” style husband or “I am the boss’ style.
Is there no balance between these two types which includes a major part of Indian husband? Of course, I have not witnessed other than Indian couples very closely to comment. Now couples who are more balanced are those who have a fair judgment to give space to each other and do not try to force each other on every big and small issue. Such couples are not many. Maybe the present generation needs to be more of this type. When both are independent financially and have an independent mind of their own, their balanced handling will prevent disgruntled family life and separation.
I would appreciate if you can add some more types. Send your comments and suggestions.